How to Avoid the F*** Word During Negotiations
What's the first thing that pops up in your mind when you think of negotiations? A large conference room, smart suites, important issues? If that's what you think negotiations are, let me tell you something – you are absolutely wrong! As a famous modern psychologist with a prominent last name Kennedy writes in his book, negotiations are part and parcel of our life. Even a kid crying over a bar of chocolate he or she wants to get is also a bright example, though a simplified version, of negotiations. Now, if you don't want to transfer this childish reaction into your adult life, perhaps you've got to start using smartly one powerful tool that you have – your language.
Well, let's admit, the problems appear when we simply want to disagree. The easiest is to say “You are wrong”, but why not use a couple of more sophisticated phrases:
This is not how we see it
I'm afraid this is unacceptable
Could you clarify that, please?
I would prefer …
Or you may appear on the other side and face someone's disagreement. When your interests collide, try the following:
Making suggestions
Could the problem be solved by …?
Can you offer any alternatives?
Clarifying
Does that mean …?
How important is it for you that …?
Asking for suggestions
Can you offer us any other possibility?
What would you suggest?
What do you suggest I do?
Expressing partial agreement
I understand how you feel!
I agree with you specifically on …
Yes, you have a point there about …
There are lots of other useful phrases you can use to calm a situation and resolve certain problems that appear. Let's go over a few more essential points we can use when the atmosphere gets tense.
Asking questions
Could you tell us why you feel like that?
How can we reach a compromise?
What do you think is a fair way to resolve …?
Your position is very interesting. Could you tell me more?
Asking for or encouraging agreement
Do you agree with our position on …?
Do you feel you can accept …?
I hope you can see our point of view.
Let me explain our position!
Expressing agreement
I believe that is correct.
If I were in your position, I would also …
That seems reasonable.
I know exactly what you mean.
If you come to think of it, these phrases are ordinary, simple to use and easy to remember. Meanwhile, if you analyze their usage, they can really do a great psychological trick. I believe it would be unwise not to take advantage of such an obvious opportunity. So, all that is left to say – Good Luck.
