Investor Relations

- Today, I am happy to present my business plan for..
- If that's another of your crazy ideas, forget it. I didn't get any return on my last investment – your barbershop for dogs was a disaster. Zero profit, disproportionate running costs, highest customer dissatisfaction level I've ever seen.
- We could have made it if you'd given us more time…
- …or if any of your staff had known anything about dog-grooming!
- This project is different. I have identified a market demand, just like you told me. I have selected a target audience. I have even come up with a pricing model.
- Sounds promising. What's the big idea?
- Mono-product artisanal vegan snack shack!
- I don't know what any of those words mean.
- It's a breakthrough concept. We will sell locally grown organic kale: kale salad, kale smoothies, kale chips…
- No.
- Hear me out…
- I said, no.
- But healthy eating is so trendy now!
- So is saving money. This abomination of a restaurant is a solid business idea only if you're in the business of flushing money down the toilet. I'm not investing in this one.
- Fine. I'm going to offer this opportunity to another bidder then.
- Son, don't waste your time. Your Mother is not falling for this one either.