Makeup

My girlfriend always hogs the bathroom in the morning because she needs to do her makeup. So the other night I came across this photo of makeup-free Emma Stone and I suggested, “Dinah, why don't you try this look? This sure takes no time at all!” She laughed, “Timmy, you're a fool. This “no- makeup look” takes even longer to create than my usual style!” “Yeah, right,” I said. And then she asked if I would like to try it myself. I didn't know what I was in for when I agreed. We started by using a tinted moisturizer to even out my complexion. Wasn't enough, so we switched to makeup foundation, which, by the way, comes in liquid, cream, mousse, stick, and powder form. I mean, how does one even choose between them? Then I had to apply a concealer on all the blemishes (which I didn't even know I had). After that - a cream blush for a more “dewy” look, whatever that means, and a dusting of translucent powder to help prevent shine and keep the makeup in place. Also, a highlighter on the cheekbones for that magical natural glow. Think that's it? Hell no! I had to curl my eyelashes and coat them with three layers of mascara, put on five different kinds of eye shadow and two coats of lip-gloss. Forty-five minutes! Forty-five whole minutes of smearing stuff on your face to look like you haven't used any cosmetics at all! If that's not insane, I don't know what is.