Your Words Create Your World

I truly believe in the power of words. What you say to yourself influences how you feel. And how you feel influences what you can accomplish. Henry Ford said, whether you think you can, or you think you can't - you're right.' For this reason, I try to avoid the word “can’t”. When you say this word, you create a barrier in your mind. When you say “I can’t”, your mind believes you. It thinks, “well, she said I can’t do this so then I won’t even try.”

Instead, I say how can I do this? Then my mind immediately begins looking for solutions. Sometimes, instead of I can’t, I say this is really hard right now. My mind then feels better about not being able to do an activity at that exact moment. Maybe later the task will be easier.

To become more proactive, I've also tried to get rid of wishful thinking. Often people talk about what they wish would happen. Instead we can think and talk about what we plan to make happen if at all possible. For example, if I get this promotion, then I will plan a vacation with my family. That doesn’t sound like you really believe it’s going to happen, does it? How about this?: When I get this promotion, I plan to take my family on vacation. Now doesn’t that sound much more determined? You’ll do whatever you can to achieve that goal, and you’ll believe it’s possible.

The same type of internal dialogue is necessary for when we talk about the past and regrets as well. Most of us use these three phrases to talk about things we wished we had done: I should have, I could have, I would have. I should’ve gotten up earlier. Then I could’ve taken more time to eat breakfast. And I would’ve been on time to work. Well, I say: “shoulda, coulda, woulda - but it didn’t happen. So now what?” For me, this phrase and question helps me reset my mind towards looking forward - at the present and at the future - and thinking about what I can do now, instead of worrying about a past I cannot change.

And you know the best part? This way of thinking works. I used to be a person who let negative thoughts and wishful thinking make me unhappy. Now, I think in a way that is more proactive, productive, and positive. I think I can, and I’m right!